Rapture by Proxy

Send $20 for a full size blow-up doll, or $10 for a mini-sized blow-up doll, along with your name, or the name of the party you would like to see Raptured by Proxy [TM], to Michael Dare, 2405 NE 113th St., #3, Seattle, WA 98125.

On October 21, 2011, I will write your name on the doll with a Sharpie, fill it with helium, and live blog the release of all the dolls into the Seattle sky, whatever the weather.

Don't let the next Rapture catch you with your pants down, and don't accept any other offers for Raptures by Proxy. This is the only one with a personal guarantee that you will fly into the clouds.