I claim this peninsula in the name of Occupy Seattle, Occupy Wall Street, Occupy America, and 99% of the entire human species who are goddam tired of seeing the greediest liars and corpulent thieves in the world get away with the greatest monetary theft in history, where corruption and extortion rule the day, where the word "sharing" is equated with piracy, where the system itself is broken to the core and seemingly beyond repair, where there's nothing left to do but stake a claim in a triangular piece of earth owned by the city of Seattle and refuse to budge until the change, the big change, the one that's coming, I guarantee it. I claim this peninsula in the name of the revolution. This is the real thing. It is local, it is national, and it is global. It is readily apparent to anyone paying attention. We've had enough. If you got a government bailout, take notice. We're the 99% and we want our money back. With interest. Now.
I claim this peninsula because one morning I was told there had been a vote the night before and, if I wanted, I was in charge. I claim this peninsula because Geronimo said "I was no chief and never had been, but because I had been more deeply wronged than others, this honor was conferred upon me, and I resolved to prove worthy of the trust" so I claim this peninsula in the name of all native Americans who understood that land can't be owned and trust must be earned. I claim this peninsula in the name of the tired and the poor, the wretched refuse yearning to breathe free, yes, I claim this peninsula in the name of the Statue of Liberty, a gift from France, so good on you, France, I claim this peninsula for you too, and promise to learn the lessons of your revolution.
I claim this peninsula for every gay, every straight, every transexual and every confused. I claim this peninsula in the name of truth, justice, and the American way of revolution. To try to stop us is futile. I claim this peninsula because it was sitting there waiting to be claimed, a prime piece of downtown property that was under-utilized to say the least, a minor sub-plaza of city hall which, on a good day, was occupied by three people, all smokers, most with fancy new phones I can't afford because I can't get credit because all my money is stuck in Paypal and can't get out. Oh yeah, I'm going there. Fuck the banking system. Fuck it good. You know what I call the bankers and stock brokers who jumped out of windows during the Great Depression? A good start. I claim this peninsula in full support of more Wall Street professionals committing suicide and leaving the world a better place. (But first change your wills and leave everything to me. I'll use the money to hire professional lobbyists to lobby Congress to regulate your industry and make lobbying itself illegal.)
I claim this peninsula because every penny given to a public official or someone running for office is a bribe that should be prosecuted as a felony, because the Supreme Court of the United States, the Senate, and the House of Representatives are completely corrupt and most of them belong in jail. If I believed in the death penalty, I'd be asking for their heads (once again, thank you, France). Many of the 99% want Congress and the Supreme Court publicly flailed, but I'll be content for every one of these slimeballs to spend the rest of their lives getting gangbanged by Bubba, Charles Manson, or any random member of the Crips and Bloods who happens to be taking a shower in their local federal institution.
I don't claim this peninsula for Steve Jobs, I claim this peninsula for the Chinese indentured servants who put together Apple's iPads and the American workers who should have those jobs. I claim this peninsula for the American worker because you REALLY don't want to piss them off. I don't claim this peninsula for anything remotely similar to a stock exchange or money peddler, I claim this peninsula so every individual gets to thrive without the rules stacked against them, and for most corporate CEOs to be strung up by their nuts. I claim this peninsula because "I've got a fiduciary responsibility to maximize profits for my stockholders" is the new "I was only following orders." I claim this peninsula because if corporations are people, I want BP charged with manslaughter, Union Carbide charged with genocide, and Halliburton charged with rape. (And I want Victoria's Secret to marry me.)
I claim this peninsula to invite George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and Condoleezza Rice to commit ritual Seppuku and kill themselves to atone for the atrocious crimes they committed against humanity. I claim this peninsula to end the war on drugs retroactively to 1970, for every prisoner to be set free, and for reparations to be paid to everyone who was prosecuted during this heinous crime against humanity.
I claim this peninsula for the children, what about the children, isn't anyone doing anything for the children? I claim this peninsula because pizza isn't a vegetable and the Coca Cola Company are corporate criminals (check out http://killercoke.org/).
I claim this peninsula to get my life back on track, to do what I do best, to learn from my mistakes, to take responsibility and keep it, to do right and to get it back. I claim this peninsula because I led a broken and devastated woman to a homeless shelter a block away and she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said thank you, thank you, I can't believe you're doing this for me. I claim this peninsula for everyone who has ever said thank you.
I claim this peninsula in the name of every manic depressive, bipolar, can't-cope, schizophrenic misfit who ever cried to the stars with an unanswered prayer. I claim for the lazy, I claim for the misbegotten, I claim for the minority of one, for the individual, whatever their make-up. I claim this peninsula because my favorite color is flesh, in every human manifestation, I claim to be human, I am human, I have rights as a human no matter how many others may find me reprehensible, because after all, everyone is reprehensible to someone. I claim this peninsula for HUMAN rights, for the rights of every member of our species to live a life uninterrupted by assholes. I claim this peninsula for everyone who has ever been busted for no damn rational reason, for those who languish in jail while the real criminals roam free in their penthouses and private islands surrounded by gunboats.
I claim this peninsula for Eugene Debbs, because I recognize my kinship with all living beings, and I made up my mind that I was not one bit better than the meanest on earth. I said then, and I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it, and while there is a criminal element I am of it, and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free.
I claim this peninsula in opposition to American imperialism, for our soldiers overseas fighting for the petroleum industry and other corporate tools of the military industrial complex. I claim this peninsula for every living veteran, especially those without a job, without healthcare, without a home, with PTSD, with hidden rage against the system that taught them how to kill, squeezed them dry and left them flat. I claim this peninsula in the name of creating less veterans of foreign occupations by simply not being in 172 countries who somehow don't appreciate our presence.
I claim this peninsula because I've always been a renter and this is probably the closest I'll ever get to owning a piece of land in my life, even though any pitiful human who thinks they own a piece of the earth is delusional.
I claim this peninsula for the Joads of Wrath, so I’ll be ever’where – wherever you look. Wherever there’s a fight so hungry people can eat, I’ll be there. Wherever there’s a cop beating up a guy, I’ll be there. I’ll be in the way guys yell when they’re mad – an’ they know supper’s ready. An’ when our people eat the stuff they raise, an’ live in the houses they build, why, I’ll be there too. I claim this peninsula in the name of plagiarism, the creative commons, and copyright infringement. I claim this peninsula in the name of file sharing, child bearing, and artistic daring. I claim this peninsula because I'm not a ruler, I'm a rudder, and maybe, because I can't be bought or sold, because I'm nobody's tool, because I understand and sympathize with both sides of the problem, I might be able to steer the occupy movement into a situation where things can move beyond getting talked about and somehow actually done.
I claim this peninsula because I love Seattle, every season, every bridge, mountain, waterway, and lock. The waterfront, the parks, the lakes, free first Thursday, the free bus zone, the parade of tugboats, the fireworks in Lake Union, the theater, the music, the monorail, the needle, the best library system on earth and a central building that's an architectural wonder, the international fountain where naked lesbians frolic in the water after the gay parade, the hempfest, the biggest peaceful protest event on earth where 350,000 people gather in a city park to commit an act of civil disobedience with the permission and approval of the mayor and police force, man, I love it here, Ballard, Green Lake, the arboretum, the transit tunnel, Seattle is,the Paris of America and if you disagree you can step outside right now for a sound thrashing, We can lead this movement from Seattle, where the mayor and city council are on our side. We can show the rest of the country how it can be done.
I claim this peninsula in the name of my father, his son, and the holey toast (bagel). I claim this peninsula for whoever else happens to be standing around at the time. I claim this peninsula for the derelicts, outcasts, and societal dregs I won't even let in my encampment. I claim this peninsula in the name of Paul Krassner, Lenny Bruce, Bob Dylan, George Carlin, Timothy Leary, Eugene Ionesco, Robert Anton Wilson, Bill HIcks, Charles Bukowski, Art Kunkin, Jay Levin, Jim Channon, Abbie Hoffman, Jean-Paul Marat, Leonard Peltier, Geronimo, John Lennon, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Sam Kinison, Hunter S. Thompson, and Mitch Hedberg. I claim this peninsula in the name of pot, booze, and loose women. (Donations accepted at the tent.) I claim this peninsula because Mayor McGinn offered it to me and it would be rude to refuse. I claim this peninsula because I've got a tent and a trusty crew of street-wise roustabouts who've got my back. I claim this peninsula because it's a responsibility I've discovered I can handle.
I claim this peninsula for you, the person reading this, because whatever you want, I want that too, because I want everyone on earth to thrive and be happy, and think, deep down, it's actually possible if we all just respect each other's rights to do the same. I claim this peninsula for freedom of religion and freedom from religion. I claim this peninsula for everyone's right to believe any damn fool thing they want and my right to criticize their idiocy. I claim this peninsula because the promise of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is only in the Declaration of Independence, not the Constitution, and so carries no legal weight. Fuck that. I claim this peninsula so everyone can have as much life, liberty, and happiness as they can possibly stand as long as it doesn't get in the way of anyone else's right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.
I claim this peninsula for rock & roll, for Abbott & Costello, for Larry, Moe, Curly Joe, and the Bowery Boys.
I claim this peninsula because I have nowhere else to go.
I claim this peninsula because somebody had to and it's just pathetic it had to be me.
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